How in control are you when it comes to realising your dreams as a business owner?Nov 08, 2021
You’re sipping your favourite morning brew, the aroma from the coffee machine scenting the air. It’s a pleasant morning and the birds are tweeting. Glancing out of the window, your gaze falls on the woman from across the road, carrying files and a laptop to her car.
She has it all
She’s glamourous at 40-something and clearly looks after herself. Her hair and nails always shine, and she has a good eye for clothing, conspicuous colour palettes – and stilettos to die for!
The German-engineered car sitting on the driveway always looks immaculate. The scene is even more impressive when her well-chiselled hubby arrives home and parks his equally impressive motor next to hers.
Now there’s a distinguished gentleman if you say so yourself: handsome, tanned, tailored wardrobe and melting smile.
The couple seem to have it all. Their children attend a local private school and always appear super well-behaved. No playing the folks up in their household!
You wonder where they will be travelling on holiday next. Weekends away seem rife and bikes and paddleboards often appear early Saturday mornings as the happy family sets off on another adventure.
You stare for a while longer. Something catches your eye, and you squint to get a better look. Did she just wipe a tear away?
Oh wait, is this you? It’s your tears being wiped away!
It’s not what it looks like
You’re a successful business owner, and to the outside world, you look like you have everything - the guy, the house, the car, the kids, the money and the adventures.
But on the inside, you’re struggling. You’re overwhelmed with anxiety and have felt the stress of daily life ever since … you can’t remember when.
Over the past few years, you’ve lost belief in your abilities and have begun to doubt yourself.
You feel miserable every day from neglecting your own heart and soul. It’s come to a head now and you feel wholly unfulfilled and unworthy. You feel down in the dumps.
It’s evident at work. You struggle to delegate, the slightest question or incident from a member of your team (or a supplier) is irritating, and you never have enough energy.
Now you think about it, you’re aware it’s crept into your home and infected the relationship with your partner and children. You can’t remember the last time you enjoyed intimacy with your partner - and the weekend trips to the reservoir and nature reserve are filled with challenging behaviour.
You’d rather stay at home, away from everybody, away from the world.
What went wrong?
Deep down, you want more. You feel the need to be financially independent, but you also want to enjoy the small things in life. Quality time with those who you love without thinking about work or feeling exasperated at ice cream demands or help with homework.
You realise that you’ve given up on yourself. You’re completely distracted at work, at home, and with friends.
On the outside, everything looks excellent, but sadly none of it feels right on the inside.
Ask yourself this, ‘how in control are you when it comes to realising your dreams as a business owner?’
It’s a tricky question. One that requires deep thinking. But it’s a question that highlights a level of understanding that you know your situation needs to change.
How to take back control?
Life has its ups and downs. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in the demands of work and day-to-day routines that the excitement trickles away, leaving an empty vessel.
Prioritising yourself, taking time out and nurturing what feels good is the best way to reclaim fun and to start to feel fulfilled again. Questioning what it feels like to be in flow and having a sense of the activities, situations and people that help you to be in a state of happiness is where your focus needs to be.
Adverse incidents from childhood and throughout life mount up and have a habit of creeping up behind you and pouncing on you when you least expect it. It’s like throwing a cloak over your head and you losing all navigation and clarity.
You’re not even sure when the cloak consumed you, but the result is confusion about the present, uncertainty about the future and constant brain fog.
Removing the cloak may take some time but telling yourself that you have the power to claim back your vibrancy is the place to start.
Work through unhelpful habits and set about making changes in all areas of your life to flush out the unhelpful stuff and make way for the enthusing stuff.
Ask for help from the people you trust or work with an external means of support such as a coach, mentor or freedom guide.
Realise your dreams, find your purpose in life
I’ve helped many female business owners suffering in this way. They have found me in different ways, but all have come to me feeling lost and not knowing which way to turn.
I show them ways to find their flow once more and to remove the suffocating cloak that pins them down.
Eventually, they resurface as that glamourous 40-something who clearly looks after herself. But this time, she’s real on the inside as well as the outside!