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Are boundaries holding you back?

Nov 02, 2020
One of the biggest challenges identified within a recent group coaching program is setting & keeping boundaries.
For these business owners, the discussion has been around how much they control things and also about the amount of support that they accept for themselves. 
Let me give you an example when it comes to control; you may be someone in business in some way, not necessarily a business owner. You may know, or be somebody who feels that they have to do everything, they have to control everything. It may not be the conscious intention to control everything, it may just be simply that the attidue is: “I have to do everything because I want it doing right, and actually, I don’t have anybody else that I can trust to do it in the same way that I like it to be done.” 
Therefore, this person ends up being very busy in business, completely overloaded, ends up putting themselves way at the back of the queue of things that need to be done (for themselves), or may not even appear in the queue. 
So, I’m curious, whilst you’re reading, what resonates with you? 
Do you ever feel that you’re right at the back of the queue, in fact have you ever realised that maybe you don’t appear in the queue?
You have all these people that you work with, that you help, but you don’t even appear on y our list of things and people to attend to? 
Think about it; how much do you like to control things?  
Do you like control the way things are done?  
Do you control everything because you have all these plates spinning? 
Actually, most high achieving business owners end up spinning so many plates that they have to have some element of control, or feel like they are in control because otherwise they know that a plate is going to drop. They absolutely do not want a plate to smash, because we just can’t have that. 
But what if a plate did smash? It’s not necessarily the impact on you, it’s the impact on other people and you’re going to be very mindful of that. What I find really interesting, is that many of the people that I have come across, and I speak on behalf of myself at times too, will do whatever it takes for everybody else, to help others, but when it comes to themselves, they won’t do whatever it takes to put themselves first. 
Why it is that so many have an issue with this? Why is that most women, and I’m certainly not saying this isn’t a problem that guys have, because it is, but it seems to be more prevalent in women, especially mums in business.  
Why it is that we don’t do what we need to do, for ourselves? I'd love to hear your thoughts, please comment below the post or email me: [email protected]