I am: become your ideal you, in business and at home
Posted on 4th March 2019 at 19:05
On a daily basis we, as human beings, tend to use the words “I am”. Whatever it is that comes after the “I am” kind of determines your identity. Most people don’t consciously realise that they’re actually doing that, they’re setting their own identity.
Identity is a really interesting subject. Sometimes you can set your own identity, and there are times when other people will kind of set and identity for you or reinforce the identity that you give yourself...
Let me just go back to the “I am” and the relevance here. This is really important, because language is extremely powerful. The words that you choose to use for yourself and for other people are extremely powerful. Now, with everything there is a duality, these words can be destructive, or they can be uplifting. So, the words that you choose for yourself, and the words that you use for other people can damage people or yourself, or they can uplift other people or yourself.
If there is anything that I would love for you to take away from this blog, it’s to just become more aware of the language that you use. Especially where you’re using “I am”, and the kind of identity that you set for yourself, and that you reinforce for other people.
Let me give you an example: recently, there was a child that I know, I won’t identify who they are, who was told by a teacher that they are stupid. The teacher said to them; “You are stupid, you are worthless and there is just absolutely no point in you bothering to try, or put any more effort into achieving what you’re trying to do right now. In fact, you’re not going to make the ‘A’-team, I wouldn’t even bother.”
Oh my goodness me, I was shocked, absolutely shocked on a number of levels! But I won’t get onto my soapbox because I feel very passionately about language and what we can do and cause for other people as well as for ourselves. But the key thing here is, that teacher was putting labels on that child. Now that child doesn’t have the consciousness or the awareness to necessarily repel those words.
It’s a bit like, do you remember as children playing with the green sticky weed? You might run through the field, run down past the river and somebody grabs the sticky weed from the bushes and sticks it on your back. We had great fun as kids with this stuff. I see labels as a bit like that. You go through life and people stick labels on you; “You’re this, you’re that, you’re the other.” Oh and then you do it yourself; “I am this, I am that, I am the other”.
So, just going back to that teacher, what that teacher did, was they had an impact on that child, as I am sure you will imagine it was quite a negative impact. But when I delved further into it, what I found is that the teacher said what they said, because they wanted to encourage the child to do better. So they had a good meaning, they were coming from perhaps what they thought was the right place, but actually, the action wasn’t the right action to take.
There are two key learnings here:
1. Become aware of the language and the words that you say to others and the impact that that can have.
2. Become aware of the words that you say to yourself. What are your “I am’s”? Do you say: “I’m learning to do this”? Or “I’m absolutely useless at this, I can’t get anything right.”
So, whatever it is that you say, it is going to impact what you do, it’s going to impact your energy. It’s going to impact your confidence, just like the confidence knocked with the poor child that was told that they’re worthless.
When it comes to 2019, have a think about your identity, think about who do you want to become, in order take do the action, that you know you’re going to need to take. So, then you can have the results that you want. Because in order to have what you want, sometimes you’re going to need to take some different action that’s going to need you to adjust your habits and maybe your rituals, and the way you set yourself up.
Are you setting yourself up to win? Or is there a little bit of self-sabotage happening? If there is, then there’s a bit of work to do. And you need to become that person first, the change needs to happen in your mind first.
So, if you’re somebody who gets really frustrated that they’re not getting the results they really, really want and keep slipping into bad habits, it’s because you haven’t actually grown into the person you need to become first.
You see the big problem within our society today, is that many of us are brought up believing that for us to have what we want, we just need to do something, we can have whatever we want, we’re entitled to it, right? But we need to earn it first. It all starts with your mindset, it all starts with becoming that better person, becoming that ideal you.
Who is your ideal you for 2019?
This blog was inspired by Facebook Live video 7th February 2019, take a look here to see this video and more.
About Cassie Footman
Cassie delivers success coaching for personal and business success. Discussing what your goals are, the steps towards achieving those goals and what to do when you get there! What comes next?!
Cassie works with entrepreneurs, start-ups and established small business owners to help them navigate their way to achievement, fulfilment and a sustainable level of rewards. Through group coaching, events and public speaking Cassie works with groups and individuals to build on existing successes or help to get new business owners using their talent effectively to secure those much-needed sales and strategies for starting from the beginning in business ownership.
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